Pinterest Fail: Green Bean Teepee

If you clicked here looking for how to make a green bean teepee successfully, click on, sister.  This is not what you are seeking....unless you want to learn from my mistakes.

First, I must confess, I'm not actually on Pinterest.  I know that if I join, my family and friends would rarely see me, and the random sightings would only be at craft stores and involve glue, stray bits of fabric, and dough covering my clothing.  I know my limitations, people.

I do, however, see what others share on Facebook, and I will occasionally tackle projects.  Such is the case with the much lauded "Green Bean Teepee."  Seriously, if you've been anywhere near Pinterest, Facebook, a Disney Family magazine, or a gardening publication in the past few years, you have probably seen the fantastic, legendary, GREEN BEAN TEEPEE.  So I tried it, and failed miserably.

Here's how to fail in a few easy steps:

1. Do a soil test. Make sure your dirt is pitiful.  If your soil stinks, stuff won't grow, even weeds are reluctant.  I tried to make our teepee in the back yard, which is still fresh from the dirt work of house construction.  
2. Get a couple of big dogs.  You really need some big dogs to mow down your teepee structure after you have worked so super duper hard to set it up just right for your kiddos to enjoy.  After they have knocked it down, be sure to set it up in a less satisfactory fashion.  Be sure to make sure it leans a little, like you were drinking heavily when you set it up.
3. Repeat Step 2.  That's right, wait a a day or two with your fingers crossed, and then let your dogs run it over AGAIN.  This time they should hit it hard enough to snap the metal rod encased in the thick plastic gardening stake.  For a classy touch, pull out your best duct tape and "repair" the broken stake.
4. Watch the green beans sprout up with excitement.  Watch their growth stop at about four inches, SO CLOSE to the first level of twine you are expecting the tendrils to clasp onto with vigor.  Watch the growth stop for a month or two before the sprouts disappear

Congratulations!  You now have a really tacky piece of yard art that only a few stray weeds will cling onto months later.  Take joy when people ask you "What's THAT???!!!" repeatedly.

And, there you have it, how to fail at a green bean teepee.

^^Pinterest Fail Documented^^

But, in all seriousness, we really will try this again. A green bean teepee does seem like a wonderful way to get kiddos outside even more and to add some sweet, magical memories to their childhood. And, it really does seem easy, in theory.

To increase the odds of success, I am adding a whole bunch of organic material to the back yard in an effort to improve the soil. Be sure to check back for a post on pine straw and chicken litter. (Are you at the edge of your seat in anticipation?)

And, fingers crossed, the dogs will be a year older this spring and a lot less rambunctious (hopefully).