The Wilderness

This part was very difficult to write about, thus the vast amount of time since my last post.  My last post was during what I consider "the wilderness period."  We all know God called the Israelites out of Egypt.  That was his will.  It wasn't easy, and they repeatedly failed to trust in God, leading to 40 years in the wilderness.

The process of moving our family to another state with two young kids in tow and another on the way was not easy.  God paved the way.  God provided a clear cut path and direction.  However, I let the details stress me immeasurably.  That was definitely one of the toughest times in my life.  We've moved nine times, but this was different.  The details drowned me. My biggest fear - that we'd design a home that would be a burden to us and the generations after us.  This was, after all, a FOREVER home.  It is on family land and cannot be sold.  I often went from joy to despair - and back and forth.  I would berate myself for stressing over small details - first world problems - when I knew there were people in the world with REAL problems - lack of clean water, hunger, abuse, etc. By not trusting in God and letting Him take control, I entered into the wilderness, taking my loved ones with me.  Our journey could have been different if I would have fully trusted Him, held true to His promises, and relinquished control.

Although it was a tough time, it was not without joy.  We welcomed the birth of our second daughter.  We were blessed with an increased closeness to our families.  And, I learned.  I learned God's got this - not just the big stuff, but the details too.  I learned God and my family love me even when I am beyond difficult.  Even when we face difficult times, God is there.  God can use those times in our lives to bring us closer to Him, by trusting in Him more and learning more about His character.  We can also use those times to better understand those about us and to treat others with more love.

If you are facing a tough season right now, know that God is there.  He is not leaving you.